I have decided

Instead of dwelling on the negative, I am going to look forward to the positive.

It might be difficult to get used to, but I am willing to try.

For example: last month was hell. I really struggled. My sales were down, my bills were high. My nerves were raw.

But that was last month. It's over now. There will never again be another September 2008. Ever. It's October and it will be better. Already my sales are up, my finances are stable and I feel way less stressed. Yes, I am still getting used to my job. I am still working out training and trying to figure out how I am going to make certain things work, but I'm not freaking out about it and that is a step in the right direction.

I am a week away from a long weekend with Laura and Steve. I drive up to Boston on Thursday and then Laura and I meet up with Steve in Toronto Friday afternoon. Saturday is a concert in Huntsville, Ontario with Sharon and Bram; Sunday we might go to the islands (I would love to do a fall picnic) and Monday Laura and I head back to Boston. I get back to Danbury on Tuesday and go back to work on Wednesday. I am looking forward to it like you would not believe.

I have decided that at some point I am going to go off on my own for maybe an hour and just walk and think. I don't often get time alone that I don't waste. Listening to music is wonderful, and while I love it, I often feel like I could have or should have accomplished something more. Though sometimes working up a sweat to ABBA Gold is exactly what I need.

You know, it's interesting. A few weeks ago, Dad was over at the house, helping me figure out my budget. I was stressed out and tired. It was then that I decided to take the promotion and delay the move to Boston. It was a difficult decision that I didn't want to make. But Dad said "You can take the pain now, or you can take it later. But either way, you're going to have to take it."

September was pain. And while I am still living in Danbury, CT, still working retail, still delaying moving on, I am doing so without regret. And really, spring 2009 isn't all that far away. And if I play my cards right, it'll go off better than expected.

See? Think positive.