I'm done

I am not a file folder. I am not a lunch box. I am not a swim suit being sent off with an eight-year-old at her first residence camp.

I am nothing that needs to be labeled.

I took a HUGE risk a while back and came out on my blog. I do not regret it. I do not take it back. Though I do feel that I missed the mark and perhaps should just allow myself to love whomever it is I love, without definition. I have found that life only gets more ridiculous; more complicated and FAR more confusing when I attempt to define myself with only one word.

Mainly I wrote what I wrote because there are people in my life with whom I do not communicate except through this blog. Perhaps it was cowardly. Perhaps it was a little extreme, but I didn't like feeling that I was lying to people I love. I wanted to tell them what I was. That's where I made my mistake. I am not a "what". I am a "who".

Sure, I am a writer,
a reader,
a singer... the list of my talents and interests is quite long.

But WHO I am, that's something different.

I can't continue to define myself based on what I do; how I do it; who I love or to whom I relate.

No.

I am a person who deserves love and is capable of giving it.

That is all.

The "what" I am simply makes life a little more interesting. But I have found that when I only pay attention to the "WHAT", I feel empty. I love music, but it cannot love me back.

I am a person who deserves to be loved.

And I will get what I deserve.

Let the countdown begin

As you might be able to guess by the address of this blog, my birthday is in August. I am anxiously counting down the days. No, I am NOT posting a link to a potential gift list. But I AM going to treat myself. I went up to Toronto last month and I swear, I have never felt so at home. This year for my birthday I am going back for a week. Laura is going with me. I am so very excited. I am still in the process of finding a good place to stay. Really, I am waiting for a few people to get back to me on particulars, parking and so forth. My main concern is not the hotel, the food, the parking or anything along those lines. I am primarily anxious about how I will ever afford gasoline. However, I am sure that everything will come together. I have even started planning a small surprise for Laura when we arrive. Frankly, the fact that she is sharing the week with me is gift enough and I want to make sure that she get as much out of the trip as I hope to.