I picked up my glasses last Friday. I haven’t worn glasses in a few years. I should have, but they were so very uncomfortable, I quit very shortly after I bought them. I could not get used to the vertigo, the peripheral vision, the fact that I had to wear them at the end of my nose like a perfect librarian stereotype if I wanted to read anything without straining my neck.
But, I finally gave in and went back to get my eyes checked. As I expected, two years of not wearing my glasses have worsened the astigmatism that was created by not wearing the pair before the last. Still, my vision is still good. +.75 and +1.25 is not a very strong prescription. In fact, is minimal. It is actually just enough to make me lose my balance if I turn my head too quickly; get dizzy if I read too long; and feel nauseous from the glasses-induced migraines. Wonderful. I can see clearly, I guess. It’s hard to believe, but it is actually hard to tell if I am seeing better or not.
Today is my twentieth day in a row without biting my nails. Of course, this means that the finger-picking habit has increased. Before, I did not have nails long or sharp enough to allow me to pick my fingers. Now I do and I am. I think it may be genetic. Both my parents and at least one sister have done it for as long as I can remember. It is painful, very. But for some odd reason, I continue to do it. This too, will pass.
I have posted my resume and qualifications on a new job site, reactivated my account on another and have applied to several jobs in the past three days. I need to move on. The plain truth of the matter is that I am burned out on retail. I never really liked it all that much. But it has been nine months with this company. When I was part-time, it wasn’t so bad. I was allowed a life. During the holidays, it did not bother me that I was working so hard. I knew it was worth it. But here we are in January and I am still fielding questions, emails and phone calls on my days off. As a manager, I am required to work 40 hours; 36 on the sales floor. So far, the least I have ever worked in a week is 41. Now there are new one on one calls; weekly conference calls; daily questions from staff and supervisors in addition to the 40 hours a week I am already working. It scares me a little to find myself looking for a new job in this economy. But it is more frightening trying to imagine staying put for even a few months more.
On the bright side, a few people to whom I have applied have responded and the dialogue continues to be positive. One can only hope that something good will come of this. I do my best to be patient, but that is not a virtue for which I am famous.
I have found several job ads for things in my field or at least related to my field. Right now, the total is six. However, I will continue to look for more until I land one.
Laura, Steve and I have decided to go forward with a small portion of a very large project without the request or permission of the people for whom we want to work. We have set a deadline of March 30 to prepare a few pieces in the hopes that our potential future employers will see what we can do in just a few short months and hire us on to complete the task.
I am anxiously counting down the days until my next trip to Toronto. Laura and I depart LaGuardia on 29 March and will spend a week there. It is 67 days away. Thus far, every countdown to Toronto has passed by in a blur. I can only hope that this too, will go by quickly.
The latest knitting project is coming along at a fairly good pace. It is a rather intricate pattern, unlike any I have ever done before and admittedly, I thought in the beginning that I was getting in way over my head. However, I am almost past the color pattern and will soon move on to the easier one color, knit and purl section of the scarf. I am actually most nervous about having to crochet the edges. I just taught myself to crochet last week. I suppose I do a well enough job of it, but I should probably practice a bit more before I attempt it for this project. It is, after all, a very special birthday present. Laura is making a present for the same person. She was going to knit mittens, something she has never done before, but instead has decided to make a cross stitch gift. I am so relieved. I know that it is childish, but a part of me didn’t want Laura to make a knit thing too. I was very much a three-year-old “Stop copying me!” I know; crazy.
